Don't Make Me Choose
by Principi Phantasia
Summary: Young Hermione Granger has to make a choice that will change her life forever.


I held the letter gingerly between my fingers. I still haven't told Mum and Dad. How could I? How could I tell them that their only daughter, who had always struggled to fit in, was apparently a freak? A witch. I still couldn't get the idea in my head. Sure, there have been weird, inexplicable phenomenons, but having someone confirm it is different on a whole new level.

It appeared I had a decision to make – a serious decision that will influence my whole life from here on out, a decision too heavy to be burdened upon an 11 year old. You see, for me, it's not as simple as it seems. I've spent my entire childhood on the outside looking in, trying to get the other kids to play with me, but for some reason unknown to myself, they refused. Blatantly. All of them. Even the ones who weren't in my grade. Is it that I was annoying? Or was I weird? What's wrong with me?

I never gave up. I strived to be what everyone wanted me to be, and I finally succeeded. I gained my peers' acceptance, my teachers were fond of me, and I became a straight A student of whom my parents were proud of. And just when I thought I finally had it all, this letter came to tell me that, no, I never fitted in, and I never will fit in.

I knew that in this new place – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry – I would be an outsider _again_. I knew absolutely nothing about magic, and I highly doubted that Mum or Dad had magical powers that they never revealed to me. I wouldn't fit in to such a foreign world. But then I wondered, have I never fitted in here because I don't actually belong here? I was at a stage where I questioned everything about my life. Unimaginable, the affect just one letter had on my life.

Having given up trying to figure it all out on my own, I finally confided in my parents. They took the news much better than I had expected them to.

"Oh, my dear Hermione, I always knew you were special!" Mum cried.

"Where do we sign?" Dad had asked enthusiastically.

I was very confused. "Mum, Dad, I don't even know if I should attend this school…"

"But, why, Hermione?" Mum wondered, clearly bewildered as to why I'm not half as excited as they were about this.

"I don't know, I mean, I'm finally coping so well with school and everything."

"Didn't you complain about bullies?" Dad asked skeptically.

"Exactly. I solved that problem, I have friends now!"

"Well, you can always make new friends," Mum reasoned.

"Mum, you know it's not that easy for me," I gave her an exasperated look.

"I know, honey. And trust me; it hurts me to see you struggle. But don't you think you should learn to control this… this _power_ that you've got?" I clearly got my logicality from my Mum.

"Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away?" I mused doubtfully.

"Just sleep on it, Hermione. You have a lot to consider," Dad said.

And I did.

The day arrived when the decision finally had to be made, and I decided that yes, I would attend Hogwarts. If for nothing else, I chose to pursue this foreign ability of mine because I believed that everyone should live to their maximum potentials. I learned everything there was to learn about magic, and soon I was very excited to start my magical education at Hogwarts.

Hogwarts turned out to be such a disappointment, but it was nothing I hadn't predicted. I suppose I had hoped to be proven wrong, for once. Despite my magic-related knowledge, I was still an outsider, and treated as one, too. There were people who mocked me about my heritage – or lack of, and also people who rebuked me for being such a "know-it-all".

You have no idea how horrible it felt, having traded my former _finally-perfect-life_ for another one where I was, yet again, nothing.

At least, that was what I thought until the day of my encounter with the troll. I was so sure that that was the worst day of my life, but it turned out I gained two very special friends that day. True friends that I was certain I would cherish till the end of my life.

And now as I watched them chatting over dinner across the table in the Great Hall, I thought, life has a funny way of surprising you. It turns good things bad and bad things good unexpectedly. Somehow, I knew we'd all be okay in the end.


End file.
